Welcome! This is the first post in a series on nurturers. Here we’ll talk about what to look for in a nurturer to help you in your journey of growing participation. Later posts will talk about how to find a nurturer, how to train them, and how much to pay them.
These are a few qualities that you should look for in your nurturer.
Character: Primarily, you are looking for someone who will be patient and helpful and take that role with you (be nurturing, a big brother or sister bringing you into his/her world). Being open to new ideas is a plus. And for phase 1 especially, someone energetic and eager is great. A person who is very shy may not be willing to act things out and interact with you in fun ways.
Member of Host Community: They should be someone from the host people group among whom you want to live and grow—not an outsider or a marginalized person.
Gender: Many people have enjoyed having a woman who is a mother/older sister for their first nurturer of their phase 1 group. Like other “babies”, we benefit from the skills they bring to this setting. However, other people have had awesome phase 1 nurturers who are guys. Opposite sex one-on-one may not be appropriate in some societies. Again, we highly recommend Growing Participators work in groups, and in a mixed group, you get all the grammar & gender-real experiences also [really important for lots of languages].
Age: Don’t discount a candidate for age differences. I’ve seen people in their 50’s be very blessed by a 25-year-old nurturer and a younger growing participator thoroughly enjoy a nurturer who is her aunt’s age.
Life Experience: For your first nurturer, limited life experience is not an issue. As you go farther along in the phases and may want to learn a broader view on their world, you may want someone more experienced. Don’t compare your nurturer’s life experience to yours, but rather judge by how richly they are involved in the society of which they are a part and into which you want to be nurtured.
Education: For most places, someone with a high school education is adequate. For a more rural society, an even lower education may be adequate. You will want to avoid hiring someone who is “overqualified” for the job. You don’t need to hire someone who has a doctorate in Arabic to nurturer you in Arabic. This person would probably demand a high salary which you couldn’t afford and also be focused on teaching you formal language which isn’t used in everyday life. It is helpful if the person is literate (to write in your word log, though this is not absolutely essential) and can recognize dialect differences (so that if you say something in a different dialect, she or he can tell you that other people say it that way but his community says it this way).
Time: Make sure your nurturer has enough time available for you. If you want to meet with a nurturer for 20 hours per week, don’t “settle” for someone who can only give you five hours a week. You need someone who will reliably show up.
Teachable: You want a nurturer who is willing to do things the way you ask him to do them; not someone who is convinced there is only one good way to teach and they are determined to do it that way, probably the way they were taught in school.
Will explain in the host language: A nurturer who wants to translate everything into English or another language of wider communication will short-circuit your learning process.
Growth Zone: A person who is able and committed to coming into your growth zone and helping you understand in his/her language, and working at understanding you, is essential.